Socializing for introverts can be challenging.
Since they recharge by spending time alone, having conversations with too many people can feel exhausting.
Does that sound like you?
If so, I totally understand.
As a social skills coach, this is an issue that I hear from my clients over and over again in my coaching program.
Unfortunately, you can't really avoid interacting with others because it's just part of your day-to-day interactions.
In this post, I want to share with you my best tips on how to make small talk interesting even if you're introverted.
Let's get started.
- Recall Previous Successes
- Have An Open Body Language
- Follow Your Curiosity
- Ask Good Questions
- Explore Mutual Interests
This is a guest post by Myke Macapinlac, of www.socialconfidencemastery.com. Myke was a shy immigrant who used to work as a structural designer and became a podcast host, a social skills coach, and a lifestyle entrepreneur.
He now teaches shy guys who are technically skilled to improve their social confidence so they can create meaningful connections in their personal, romantic, and professional lives. His work has been featured in the Calgary Herald, on Breakfast Television, on Shaw TV, and in the Huffington Post.
To get to know him personally, visit his website at www.socialconfidencemastery.comÂ
Tip #1 – Recall Previous Successes
I noticed that a lot of people who struggle socially ruminate about past failures over and over again.
If you want to learn how to stop ruminating, check out this post.
But for now, a quick tip that will help you be in a good headspace before you socialize with others is to recall a time when you had a positive interaction with someone.
Close your eyes, play that memory like a movie in your head and imagine what that felt like. And in just a few minutes, you'll start to feel pretty good about yourself.
The reason why this works is because your mind doesn't know the difference between perception and reality.
Your thoughts determine your emotions so be mindful of what you focus on.
Also, I recommend you check out Headspace to help you get started on your meditation practice today.
Tip #2 – Have An Open Body Language
Let me ask you a question.
Would you want to talk to someone with their arms crossed and has a frown on their face? I didn't think so.
According to research, over 90% of how you communicate to others is non-verbal. It's not just what you say but how you say it matters to.
If you want to portray yourself as an engaging conversationalist, make sure you also work on your body language. What you'll want to do is to maintain proper eye contact, smile, keep your feet shoulder width apart, stand up straight and avoid touching your face.
When you do these things, you'll come across open and friendly which makes whoever you talk to feel comfortable and at ease.
Tip #3 – Follow Your Curiosity
Introverts are naturally good observers so if this sounds like you, make sure you take advantage of that trait.
What I want you to do is to pay close attention to the person you're talking to and ask yourself what's interesting about them.
People love talking about themselves and everyone has a story to tell. By following your curiosity and being genuinely interested in whoever you're interacting with, you're going to make them feel interesting.
As a result, they're mostly like going to reciprocate and be interested in you as well.
Tip #4 – Ask Good Questions
The quality of your questions will determine the quality of your conversations.
Whatever you do, avoid asking close-ended questions which can be answered by either a “yes” or “no” if you want to have more engaging interactions.
What I would recommend is for you to ask more open-ended questions. That's going to encourage whoever you're speaking with to share more information about them.
To give you an example, instead of asking “do you like your job?” you can ask “what is it about your job that you like?” The first question requires a one-word answer but the second question requires more of an explanation.
The more information you have from the other person, the easier it'll be for you to keep the conversation going.
Tip #5 – Explore Mutual Interests
We like people who are similar to us. In order to build rapport with others very quickly, look for things that you have in common right away.
If you think about it, most conversation topics fall under:
- Work and career
- Hobbies and interests
- Passions and ambitions
- Travel and events
- Family upbringing
If you've been paying attention to the person you're talking to and have been asking good questions, chances are, it'll be easy for you to explore mutual interests.
The more you do this, the faster you'll turn a stranger to an acquaintance and eventually, to a friend.
Summary: How To Make Interesting Small Talk (Even If You're An Introvert)
- Recall Previous Successes
- Have An Open Body Language
- Follow Your Curiosity
- Ask Good Questions
- Explore Mutual Interests
There you have it. I just shared with you my best tips on how to make small talk interesting even if you're introverted.
And now, let's turn it to you.
Which one of these tips are you going to implement first?
Let me know over at www.socialconfidencemastery.
If you’re technically skilled, like an engineer, programmer or a developer and you’re tired of struggling socially, go to www.socialconfidencemastery.com and download your free cheat sheet to help you approach and talk to anybody.
Click Here To Watch The Video – 13 Easy Ways To Make Small Talk (Guide For Introverts)
