“Hey you!”
“Over here.”
“Look at me.”
Would you say those things to:
- Strangers in the subway?
- That mysterious woman at the bar?
- Potential investors or clients?
Of course not…
…unless you were desperate to get noticed.
The truth?
No matter what – being an a**hole is never cool.
(Even if it's not your intention)
There's a way to stand out & grab attention without shouting, acting like you're drunk or tearing people apart.
Keep reading to find out how.
Tip #1: Know & Own Your Style
Maybe you're a student looking for an internship. Or an up-and-coming lawyer. Or you've got a startup aiming to change the world…
Whatever your goal is, the clothes you wear can improve the odds of achieving it. Especially if first impressions are involved. After all – your outfit acts as a “silent” ice-breaker.
People will notice if you show who you are with your clothing…and own it. Even if it means dressing differently. That's what I experienced at past events that were very casual.
I'd be the only guy wearing a jacket. And I'd be totally confident in it since it represents my business, my brand and the message I want to send across. That's why it would draw more attention in positive ways.
So capitalize on your image and message by:
- Buying clothing pieces that make you look younger or more mature
- Nailing the fit based on your body type (which matters more if you're in the fitness or nutrition industries)
- Leveling up your accessories like eyeglasses, dress watches, classic hats, pocket squares, and unique necktie knots (which really helps those in the creative field)
Tip #2: Connect With People Beforehand
If you ever watched the film Goodfellas – you may be familiar with the scene where Henry takes his date to a fancy restaurant by going through the back door.
It was a whole Steadicam sequence of workers and kitchen staff greeting the guy as the couple went inside. Not only was it shot amazingly well – it emphasized Henry's status.
Everybody there knew him. It proved how cool of a guy he was to hang out with. And the woman was no doubt impressed by that.
So likewise – you want to take the time to chat with the people you often see at your favorite spot. It could be the manager, the bartender or even the doorman.
Be friendly and show that you're happy to see them. And they will return the favor – calling you by your name, giving you a nice table, etc. – the next time you bring a date to the same place.
Connecting beforehand also matters when you're networking. I have a strategy prior to any conference. I research on those attending – the ones I'd like to talk business with. That's why I got to sit next to Brian Moran (the founder and CEO of SamCart) one time. I had already known about his company when I introduced myself. And we became each other's “connection” soon after.
Tip #3: Smile & Lighten The Mood
There's a good trick which can help you stay on track when somebody else notices you. Assuming that person likes you.
It's not about an inflated ego. It's having the mindset that allows you to give a genuine smile and make the other person “loosen up” more.
There are people who come off as cold initially. It could be because they're introverted or they're thinking you've got a hidden agenda.
But don't fight fire with fire. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. So learn to combat any negative or awkward vibes through:
- Small talk using open-ended questions (about one's career, hobbies, favorite places visited, etc.) to let people “have the floor” and share things
- Higher-level jokes that use wit, wordplay or sarcasm (as opposed to jokes which are self-deprecating or offensive to certain audiences)
It takes some practice to develop skills in asking good questions and cracking jokes. But it's 100% worth it when you can keep – not just grab – anyone's attention all the time.
Just be careful about smiling when your teeth are yellow or have visible stains (due to smoking, drinking tea or coffee often). Consider teeth-whitening methods you can try at home. Don't allow not-so-white teeth to deduct points from your first impressions.
Tip #4: Use The Right Body Language
Actions speak louder than words.
You could share the best punchlines or stories. But if you're not conscious of your folded arms or clenched fists – others will be too distracted by those details to listen.
The body language you want is related to “power poses” which psychologist Amy Cuddy discusses in her TED Talk. Those were the poses that several male and female subjects were asked to hold in a previous study.
The results? Poses that took up more space (and made people look proud/relaxed) gained higher levels of testosterone and confidence – compared to those doing “small” poses.
Cuddy believes that power-posing does wonders for your overall well-being. It can improve the quality of your voice and even your performance in a task. So it's just like the saying “Fake it till you make it.” Don't underestimate body language.
Tip #5: Bring Some Company
It pays to have friends you can “show off” when out in public (not that you're treating them like minions or fake friends!). The idea is proving how approachable and likable you are – which isn't as easy to do when you're a lone wolf.
You want to enter a bar with 2-3 of your male friends. It's even better if you bring along some female friends (purely platonic). That will signal to other women that you're good with the ladies and you've got a great social status.
Business-wise, I make it a point to tell my friends about conferences I'm attending. Because in the worst-case scenario that I don't get to mingle with new faces – I can at least hang out with my buddies who also joined.
But don't be ashamed if you end up going somewhere alone. It's simply a matter of taking action right away. The priority there is reaching out to people early on (refer back to Tip #3 and #4). There's a degree of status you'll exhibit by doing this.
Bonus: How To Get Ahead In Business / Your Career
Are you interested in learning how to:
• Stand out among your peers at work?
• Get that raise/promotion that’s yet to happen?
• Edge out your competitors in a crowded marketplace?
• Make more money doing what you love?
• Learn money-making strategies that actually work?
