“I'll never earn enough to get that car.”
“I'll never have a body like that.”
“I hope everyone likes what I'm wearing.”
Do these thoughts sound familiar? They do to a lot of men out there.
Whether we like it or not, men often struggle with one or more behaviors that do nothing but make their lives harder.
Gentlemen, today is all about self-help. Here are 10 self-destructive behaviors in men that we need to cut out.
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- Listening To The Voices In Your Head
- Thinking You Need Washboard Abs
- Not Developing a Ritual
- Taking Unnecessary Risks
- Listening To Unsolicited Advice
- Comparing Yourself To Others
- Avoiding The Doctor
- Drinking Way Too Much
- Eating Too Much Junk Food
- Being Closeminded
Alright gents, let's get into it.
Destructive Behavior 1. Listening To The Voices In Your Head
Let's start this off with some statistics out of the National Science Foundation: The average person experiences between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts a day. 85% of those thoughts are negative, and 95% are repeated from the previous day.
This sucks, right? But don't worry, science is on your side too.
Data from Cornell University reveals that 85% of those negative thoughts never come true. Even when they do, 79% of subjects admitted to handling them far better than they imagined.
What should you take away from all of this? That you shouldn't let those bad thoughts get to you. Statistically, we make things out to be worse than they actually are by thinking about them. At the end of the day, it's all just in your head.
Destructive Behavior 2. Thinking You Need Washboard Abs
One common self-destructive behavior in men is the belief that they need to fit an ideal image of fitness – the toned abs, the pecs, the biceps.
Evidence for this comes from a 2010 study out of the Journal of Psychology of Men & Masculinity. After surveying 202 College men, it turned out that their self-identity and relationships were influenced directly by their worries on body image.
My take on this? Looking like a hunk doesn't necessarily mean you have a healthy lifestyle.
Instead, focus on achieving results. When you hit the gym, set your goals and do what you need to do to reach them – whether that be a new personal best on the bench or simply hitting the gym more often.
Were you able to get stronger? Did you manage to run longer? That's what matters, not so much how it's reflected on your body.
Destructive Behavior 3. Not Developing A Ritual
Do you sleep in every day? Do you often go days without shaving? What about neglecting your skin?
These are just a few examples of bad habits which become increasingly entrenched in your routine the longer that you let them go on for.
Instead, develop rituals.
A ritual consists of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order. This is a way to introduce more structure to your day rather than sticking to bad habits.
The best part is that rituals can be applied to any aspect of your day. In many cases – such as for skin care and shaving – it can make life much easier.
Destructive Behavior 4. Taking Unnecessary Risks – “Hold My Beer”
Did you know that the frontal lobe of our brains takes longer to develop than women? What does that mean?
Since the frontal lobe governs factors such as judgment, caution, and fear, it means that we're biologically more inclined than women to make bold decisions – often too bold.
This is why all the idiotic drunk stories you hear usually involve men.
The solution? Take a step back and evaluate the merit of your risks a little better. Are you investing a moderate amount into the stock market or all your savings into a risky business?
Consider the return on every decision you make. Find a balance between risk and reward – you might be surprised at what you can accomplish.
Destructive Behavior 5. Listening To Unsolicited Advice
When it comes to self-destructive behaviors in men, we often never consider this one.
Who has your ear? Do you take advice from those closest to you, or from just anybody?
It's critical that you choose carefully who will act as your confidants. Need family advice? Consider asking that close friend who – though not financially successful – has an amazing relationship with his wife and kids.
The bottom line here, gentlemen, is that you should keep a tight circle and consider carefully who you take advice from.
Destructive Behavior 6. Comparing Yourself To Others
It's pretty obvious why this is such a self-destructive behavior in men, but let's go into a little more detail.
Here are three reasons why social comparisons are a fallacy:
Perfection is an illusion: The successes you see on social media don't comprise the whole story. A friend might post about their big house, but they might have serious personal issues. A family might seem happy in a photograph, but they may not be most of the time.
Avoid jealousy always – but especially when it comes to your friends
Life isn't fair: Some of us are just born to more disadvantages than others. There are men who are fortunate to have been born into a wealthy family with social connections, and those who have to work really hard. Unfortunately, that's the reality.
Turning friends into enemies: Social comparisons foster jealous feelings, especially if your friends seem to be doing better than you. Be happy for your friends, not angry – your time will come.
Destructive Behavior 7. Avoiding Doctors
How long has it been since your last checkup?
According to some 2017 statistics out of Trinity Med, men are more likely than women to deliberately avoid going to see the doctor. 20% of those who did admitted to doing so just to get a loved one off their back.
it all comes down to traditional views of masculinity. We like to think we're too tough or proud to see a doctor, so we ignore most of our problems.
Gentlemen, you are not from Krypton. You will get sick, and you will get hurt. Set aside that pride and get your regular checkups.
Destructive Behavior 8. Drinking Way Too Much
It's time to get serious, gents. Some 2018 statistics revealed some alarming numbers.
23% of men reported binge drinking 5 times a month, with 8 drinks per binge. Approximately 8.4% of men met the medical criteria for alcohol dependence. Men are also roughly 50% more likely than women to be intoxicated.
But why do we drink more? Guys metabolize alcohol faster thanks to an enzyme called Gastric Alcohol Dehydrogenase. This, paired with our natural urge toward risky behavior, makes for a potentially dangerous combination.
Remember that everything in moderation is key if you must drink at all. The maximum healthy and safe alcohol intake for men under 65 is two drinks – remember that, or avoid it altogether.
Destructive Behavior 9. Eating Too Much Junk Food
It's no secret that a bad diet can have adverse effects, but how does this concern men specifically?
Believe it or not, junk food can cause irreversible damage to the family jewels, and it can happen as early as age 20.
The average, healthy sperm count should number about 39 million per ejaculate. This was found in test subjects who relied mainly on a balanced diet, but those who consumed fatty foods produced 25.6 million fewer sperm.
It is theorized that junk food amplifies oxidative stress, which in turn damages the cells which produce sperm.
Do you care about the boys below? Then watch what you eat.
Destructive Behavior 10. Being Closed-Minded
Many of us are so stubborn, we'd rather die than admit we were wrong and join the winning team.
This self-destructive behavior in men comes down to thinking critically. Though most guys will take their viewpoints to the grave, very few will take that extra step and ask that all-important question: Why?
Constantly broaden your horizons
It's very possible that some principles you have are either outdated or plain wrong. This doesn't mean you need to compromise your values, but you should always be assessing them while being inquisitive.
Perhaps your mind isn't changed, but make a point to explore the opposing philosophy to understand it better. You never know what you might learn in the process.
Summary – Self-Destructive Behaviors In Men
- Listening To The Voices In Your Head
- Thinking You Need Washboard Abs
- Not Developing a Ritual
- Taking Unnecessary Risks
- Listening To Unsolicited Advice
- Comparing Yourself To Others
- Avoiding The Doctor
- Drinking Way Too Much
- Eating Too Much Junk Food
- Being Closeminded
As guys, we make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes we develop attitudes that do more harm than good. By identifying them however, you stand a better chance of nipping them in the bud and being the man you know yourself to be.
Click Here To Watch The Video – 10 Self-Destructive Obsessions Guys Need to Give Up
