Male Sex Appeal and Aging | How to Beat the Odds

If you had to name the age when men stopped getting sexier and started losing their appeal, what would you pick?

The answer probably falls right around where you'd expect. For once, pop culture and the latest social science are in agreement: it's right around 40 that men start to become “invisible” to opposite-sex potential partners, and especially to younger ones.

More specifically, according to a study from the British Crown Clinic Manchester, men 39 or older are more likely to be identified by women as a “father figure” than a “sex symbol.”

Effectively, it's the point at which your default setting for the opposite sex stops being “potential mate.”

Obviously, that only applies to men who want to appeal sexually to women, and in particular to women who are under 40 themselves. But that's still a decently large segment of men — especially when you include men who aren't aggressively out on the dating market, but who still want to put a flutter in the heart of a specific someone — so it's worth looking at ways to beat the transition over to “invisible man” as you age.

1. Look Available & Interested

The primary reason most young women gave for losing interest in older men wasn't physical — it was social.

They assumed that older men were already attached, including and in some cases especially physically attractive older men.

An older man who wants to attract romantic or sexual attention therefore needs to signal his availability.

The easiest and obvious way to do that is to dress like someone who wants a date: sharp blazer, nice shirt, coordinated pocket square, and all the little extra bits of grooming that say “trying” rather than “just coasting” (a little product in the hair, a dab of cologne, etc.).

Obviously, anything that resembles a wedding ring should also be left out of the ensemble when you're trying to attract the opposite sex (or for that matter your own sex).

Stick to large, decorative rings on fingers other than the left hand fourth finger, or skip them altogether.

2. Dye & Maintain Your Hair

Two of the top five “not sexy anymore” signals that ladies described? Thinning hair and gray hairs.

That doesn't necessarily mean the women found those things unattractive (although it's probably a safe bet in the case of thinning hair), but it does mean they associated them with age, and age, in turn, is what shifts you over the curve from “yes, sir” to “yes, daddy.”

For all the talk of Hollywood silver foxes, most men are going to project more sex appeal if they go ahead and dye those white hairs.

Splurge a little on some professional help — unless you were blessed with hair the exact shade of the cheap spray-on stuff, it's going to look matte, flattened, and fake on your head.

Get a stylist who can carefully dye the individual graying areas to blend naturally with your base color.

Men with thinning or receding hair have two options: seek treatment, or shave stylishly. There are decently effective hair transplants available these days, but the good ones aren't cheap, and there's a certain social stigma attached if word gets out. Weigh it against the simpler option of just shaving the whole head and rocking a cueball.

If you're in decent shape and your head isn't a really funky shape, bald's not a bad look.

3. Stay Fit & Healthy

A very specific sex appeal killer that encroaches with age: the double chin.

Facial fat is notoriously hard to control, but at the end of the day it works like any other weight gain. You can avoid it with the right diet and exercise.

Try to do so pre-emptively, though — once you get the start of a double chin, it's a lot harder to get rid of it than it would have been to avoid the shape in the first place!

For most men that means getting regular aerobic exercise and staying away from heavy, fatty foods like rich meat and lots of dairy. If you're living a totally idle lifestyle, you'll need a more severe diet; if you're an exercise fiend, you've got some more wiggle room in how you get your calories.

Figure out how you want to do it — but if your goal is to stay sexy as you age, beware the double chin. Slumping and spreading in other parts of your body won't help either, but it's especially noticeable on the face.

4. Take Care of Your Teeth

It may not be the first thing we associate with old age, but young women apparently link bad teeth with older men.

(It's worth keeping in mind, of course, that this was a British survey, and the Brits are notorious for lousy teeth.)

Keep up on your brushing and flossing, hit the dentist regularly, and if you need straightening, get it done.

It's not a lot of fun, but it'll keep you looking better as you age.

Remember, all the so-called “silver foxes” from the movies have pristine, pearly-white smiles.

They're spending a lot of money on their teeth, and there's a good reason for it.

Bonus – Relax & Stay Confident

Finally, it's worth remembering that the most powerful sex appeal comes from interaction, not appearance.

If you present as someone who's comfortable in his appearance and confident in the way he handles his life, that's going to be sexy, regardless of age.

Uncertainty, nervousness, and self-doubt are all major turn-offs.

Happily, they're also things we tend to master with age, putting older men in a great place to beat the odds and stay sex symbols well past the big four-oh.

Relax, enjoy yourself, and be active in the kinds of social scenes where people are finding romantic and sexual relationships: bars, clubs, parties, vacations, and so forth.

If you're looking ready for love (i.e., neatly groomed and avoiding all the pitfalls we described above), you'll find it soon enough.

In conclusion, male sex appeal may not at all depend on your age. There are a number of ways to remain sexy and appealing no matter how old you are. Beat the odds by taking good care of yourself, be confident, and enjoy life.

Transitioning from your twenties to your thirties? Click here to read the article on how to upgrade your style as you age.

Want more?