Style Podcast #109: 10 Eye Contact Mistakes

When is the last time you really thought about the eye contact that you’re giving to people?

Chances are, you’re sending off signals you don’t want to.

For example, if you don’t give people enough eye contact you can seem rude. You also make the person feel as if they are boring, and that you aren’t interested – even if that’s not the case.

On the other hand, if you give them too much eye contact it can seem aggressive. They may become intimidated, and quite frankly, think you’re being an ass.

So what is the right amount of eye contact?

Well, it’s honestly a complicated answer. It can change with the culture you are in, as well as the situation.

A good rule of thumb here in North America, though, is the 50/70 rule. When speaking, make eye contact 50% of the time. When listening, make eye contact 70% of the time.

I really wanted to dive further into this topic and go over all the complexities of the discussion.

I came up with guideline of 10 Eye Contact Mistakes I commonly see people making, and I’m going to share them all with you in detail on this episode.

Download this episode of the Real Men Real Style Podcast known to learn how you can use your eyes to give off the right message.

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10 Eye Contact Mistakes:

Not Enough Eye Contact
Too Much Eye Contact
Not Knowing Cultural Norms
Maintaining Eye Contact
Reading Too Much Into Other People’s Eye Contact
Eye Contact in Authority
Don’t Look Away Too Quickly
Not Establishing Eye Contact at the Start
Not Listening with Your Eyes
MAKE EYE CONTACT

Highlights:

In North America there’s a 50/70 rule.
- When speaking, look at the person 50% of the time.
- When listening, look at the person 70% of the time.
Eye contact rules are different all over the world.
Sometimes eye contact is seen as aggressive.
Learn the cultural rules of where you are visiting, and the people you deal with.
Most guys think a girl who makes eye contact with them, want them.
Not giving enough contact can make you seem weak.
Don’t let your eyes dart away.
To avoid nervous eye contact, count in your head.
3 to 5 seconds in the best amount of time to look at someone when you meet them.
Don’t stare at people’s feet or looking away.
Eye contact show that you are paying attention.
If you’re not listening with your eyes, it can be disrespectful.
Don’t get caught staring off.
Pick one eye to look at.
Try to discover what color their eyes really are.
Do not stare at a woman’s breasts when you are speaking to her.
You have to practice giving eye contact.
Record yourself giving presentations or talking to people.
Nothing feels natural at first.